Welcome to positIFS
‘A Safe Space for Transformation and Healing’
Tel: 07407 700204
Living from your authentic Self, becoming the best version of Yourself - what does that mean and how can you do it?
I work with one of the most positive, effective and transformative forms of therapy to enable you to connect with that Self which we often find elusive.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a form of therapy that has no big words no fancy process. It offers a simple and yet profound way to enable you to work through the things that you find getting in the way of you being your true Self with others.
How does it work?
We ALL, yes ALL have this wonderful Self (Self-energy). It can’t be damaged, it can’t be corrupted, it can’t be extinguished, it can’t be broken.
What can happen however, like the sun behind the clouds, is that we may think we don’t have it or we have difficulty accessing it.
We recognise the existence of self-energy, when we feel we are being truly in harmony within ourselves and the people around us. We may feel calm and confident, aware of our curiosity and our compassion. We may be in touch with and engage with our courage and creativity. We may feel like things have much more clarity. IFS is a way of working that helps you get back in touch with these qualities.
The simplicity of IFS:
Internal Family Systems recognises that not only do we have a true SELF (self-energy) but we all also operate with ‘parts’ and these, if burdened, impact on our ability to operate comfortably within ourselves and the world.
IFS breaks these parts into three working categories Managers (who are proactive and run our daily life), Firefighters (who are reactive and want to distract us) and Exiles (who hold the memories, the sensations and emotions of difficult events in the past).
Do you recognise any of these aspects of your life?
Managers:
Trying to be perfect; People pleasing; Taking care of others; Criticizing yourself and others; Avoiding risks (e.g. not going for that promotion, that attractive partner etc etc); Worrying; Apathy; Procrastinating; Being passive and pessimistic; Controlling your body or your environment; Needing to control others; Achieving; Incessant Striving; Denial; Numbing; Shutting down; Withdrawal.
Firefighters:
Anxiety; Panic; Hyper vigilance; Digestive problems; Pains; Illnesses; Cravings and impulses in things like using alcohol/drugs/pornography; Self-harming, Numbing, Eating too much or too little, Sleeping disorders; Watching too much TV; Spacing out; Dissociating; Sexual acting out e.g. having affairs; Driving dangerously etc.
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Whilst we often believe these Managers and Firefighters are the enemy they are simply “parts”, often young, who have been working hard to protect what THEY think are painful or unacceptable vulnerabilities (exiles).
Exiles:
The effect of your past experience, or your ancestors ongoing impact on you, may show up in some of these feelings:
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Emptiness; Anxiety, Shame; Lethargy; Depression; Pain; Feeling Worthless, feeling Inadequate; Of something being ‘wrong with you; Overwhelming emotion with sensations like rage; Futility, Depletion of your energy.
These aspects and behaviours in your life are the things IFS can help you with. They may appear in your work, family life, issues with children, romantic or sexual relationships, friendships or your spiritual life.
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Connecting our self-energy with these parts and offering healing is the aim of IFS therapy. The aim of therapy is to access your true Self, in essence to Love.
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Dick Shwartz the developer of this therapy identifies that there are no bad parts. Although our parts’ strategies might be unhelpful their motivation and intentions are always to try to help.
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